You must've heard how easy it is to pick up young tearaways outside prisons? They've got no money and often their friends and families have disowned them. That's where benevolent souls like me and Jake like to step in and help out. Even dumb thugs like Jon here are easy pickings if, like on this occasion, you give them a choice of standing around freezing their nuts off outside a jail or coming home with us for a hot bath and the offer of a meal and bed for the night.

We'll tell him about the extra services HE'LL be expected to provide after we've got to know him a bit better eh?

If Jon is going to accept our charity then he has to abide by the house rules.

Rule number one is all young men must be bathed properly from top to toe. We can't allow jail scum who don't know any better, to go around with god-knows-what hidden in their little crevices. So it falls to me and Jake to meticulously scrub the youth even at the risk of being thought of as perverts. I think it's absolute genius that I not only get my hands all over Jon's privates and arsehole without him suspecting a thing, but I also set him up for his inevitable downfall, slyly suggesting that he goes along with Jake if he later asks him for help with his 'Houdini' act.